


Five Times They Didn't Get Caught

by PuggleNSFW (Pugglemuggle)



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5 Things, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dumb boys are dumb, Exhibitionism, Hand Jobs, I should warn for people walking in on people having sex, M/M, Marvel Universe Big Bang 2016, Public Sex, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Semi-Public Sex, Walking In On Someone, because that happens a lot, i mean the plot surrounds the porn, it's basically a PWP but not really, sex comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-28 23:09:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8466538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pugglemuggle/pseuds/PuggleNSFW
Summary: Steve will admit that, on occasion, he can be a little bit reckless. Steve and Bucky haven’t really gotten around to coming out to the rest of the Avengers, so they’ve been doing a lot of sneaking around, and it would probably be fine if they just decided to stick to fucking in their bedroom, but.... Again, Steve can sometimes be reckless. So they don’t always stick to their bedroom. And on several occasions—five, to be exact—things get very, very close to getting very, very awkward. Hilarity ensues. And sex. Sex ensues, too.Or, five times they almost get caught having sex, and one time they do get caught. Fucking, bickering, and comedic situations. Porn with a little bit of plot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [2016 Marvel Big Bang](http://marvel-bang.livejournal.com/). 
> 
> The art for this fic was made by the lovely artist [ctbn60](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ctbn60/pseuds/ctbn60) and can be found [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8466538)!
> 
> This... is a thing I wrote... with my own two hands.... Hand me the suntan lotion and my aviators because I'm headed straight to the fieriest pits of hell.

1.

The first close call came about a week after they moved into the Avengers Tower. Steve hadn’t actually told any of the other Avengers that he and Bucky were friendlier than friends. When he and Bucky had relocated to New York, they’d intended to come clean right off the bat, but then it turned out that Stark had decided that taking them to a strip club on their first day back would be a good way to reacquaint them with the city. By then, it’d felt like it was a bit too late to break the news, and now… Well, they were in too deep to turn back. Plus, it was pretty funny that a tower full of the world’s best warriors and spies hadn’t yet figured out that they were fucking on a regular basis. 

He could understand why Tony hadn’t caught on. Despite being a genius in science and engineering, he could be completely oblivious when it came to what people were doing around him. Some of this, Steve thought, was just a side effect of Tony’s laser-focus on whatever project he happened to be working on at the time. Another part of it was the fact that Tony was probably one of the most self-absorbed people Steve knew. Regardless, Steve couldn’t help but be grateful for Tony’s ego during that first incident.

“What kind of protein you got cooking there? Just eggs?” Bucky asked, wandering out of their bedroom and into the kitchen. His hair was still mussed from sleep, and the boxers he wore were just slightly too big for him, which made them hang low on his hips so that his hipbones peaked up just above the waistband. 

“Uh, yeah. Just eggs,” Steve replied a little distractedly, his eyes drawn to the trail of dark hair below Bucky’s navel. “I would have made sausage too, but I think we finished them yesterday.”

Bucky started walking towards him, eyebrows raised. “Are you sure about that?”

“Hm?”

“‘Cause I’m pretty sure we still have plenty,” he said, coming to a stop only a few inches behind him and cupping a hand around Steve’s morning wood over the front of his pajama pants, “and that’s all I really wanted for breakfast, anyway.”

Steve burst out laughing, which he knew wasn’t what Bucky was looking for, but he really couldn’t help it. “Seriously? That was  _ awful, _ ” he said, because honestly that had to be one of the worst lines he’d ever heard. Bucky’s face broke into a grin that was a little sheepish but also completely shit-eating. Steve decided to indulge him anyway. “Sure,” he said, rolling his eyes and turning around to face him. “Help yourself.”

And then Bucky was dropping to his knees and pushing Steve back against the cutlery drawer, kneeling on the tile between the counter and the island. Then he was unbuttoning Steve’s pants.  _ Christ _ , that would never stop looking sexy to him, not in 1935, not now. With practiced hands, Bucky drew out Steve’s cock from his pants and began running his fingers up and down the length of it in long, teasing motions. Then, just when he knew Steve was about to complain at him to just get on with it, Bucky,  _ please _ , he took Steve into his mouth, and—

“ _ Shit _ ,” Steve swore, weaving his fingers into Bucky’s hair and tugging. Bucky let out a deep, throaty moan that Steve could feel reverberating around his cock, and he probably would have lost it all together in another minute or two if the door to their apartment hadn’t flung open, followed by a very loud and hyperactive Tony Stark.

“So, I think I finally figured out the way they did the wiring in Ice Man’s original arm,” Tony said, dropping onto an armchair in their living room and turning towards Steve. “They used neuro-electrode links to set up the main sensory points, and then from there I think it was all mechanical. I should be able to have a Barnes-Arm 2.0 up and ready in a few days or so—get him back to two arms again. Where is Barnes, anyway?”

“Um,” Steve choked out. Between Bucky’s mouth around his cock and the panic of getting caught, it took him a couple moments to realize that the kitchen island counter was effectively blocking everything waist down from Tony’s view. Both he and Bucky were completely frozen, Steve’s hands clutching the edge of the countertop and Bucky’s hand still gripping Steve’s ass. He couldn’t move without making their situation embarrassingly obvious, but Stark was waiting for an answer, and Steve had to say  _ something _ , and so he gave the vaguest answer that came to mind. “He went to the store.”

“Really? What could he be buying that we don’t already have in the tower?”

“Uh,” Steve floundered. What did stores sell? What did they go to the store to get? He was drawing a complete blank. He blurted the first thing he could think of. “Condoms.”

There was a gagging noise from below the counter as Bucky tried to laugh with Steve’s cock in his mouth. Steve coughed belatedly to try to cover up the sound. Luckily, their intruder didn’t seem to notice.

“Condoms? Really?” Tony said, looking bemused. “I didn’t know Barnes was getting laid. Does he have a girlfriend somewhere?”

“Oh, uh, no.”

“Just something casual, then. Nice. Who is it? I bet it’s that girl from security downstairs…. Janine? Janet?”

“Yeah, it’s Janet,” Steve said, and the hand on Steve’s ass tightened in a nonverbal form of, “What the fuck are you saying, shut the fuck up.” Steve had to suppress a groan, and his face felt like it was on fire.

“Cool, I’ll send him something fun to spice things up a bit. I found this vibrating—”

“Bye, Stark. Thanks for stopping by,” Steve interrupted. Bucky had started moving his mouth around his cock again, and he was pretty sure that if Bucky kept it up, he’d have Steve coming within the next thirty seconds, whether or not Stark was still there.

To Steve’s relief, Stark got to his feet and headed for the door with his hands raised defensively. “Hey, just trying to be helpful. No need to ruin the party, Captain Virgin America.”

Steve probably would have laughed just then if Bucky hadn’t done  _ that thing _ with his tongue, and instead Steve just let out a half-grunt, half-moan. Tony must have taken the noise for a sound of disapproval, because he kept talking, unperturbed. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, Rogers. I’ll see you later. Make sure to tell Barnes to stop by the lab, alright? Stark out.”

With that, Tony walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. The moment he heard the lock automatically click into place, Steve let out a low, quiet groan and closed his eyes. “ _ Shit _ …” he murmured. “ _ Shit, _ that was— _ fuck _ ….”

He never finished the thought, because Bucky leaned forward and managed to get even more of Steve’s cock in his mouth, and there was his tongue again,  _ shit _ , and he was coming  _ hard _ .

A moment or two passed with nothing but the sound of their breathing, and then Bucky pulled away slightly and said, “Condoms?”

“Shut up,” Steve replied. “I couldn’t think of anything.”

“You know he’s going to be holding that over my head for weeks, right? I’m never going to hear the end of his hook-up ideas….”

“Yeah, sorry. I can tell him you broke up, if you want.”

“Nah, that’s fine. He said he was going to send us something. It might be worth finding out what it is.”

Steve wasn’t sure whether to be worried or excited about the prospect of Tony Stark’s genius being put towards designing sex toys, but he settled for a combination of both. “I guess we’ll wait and see, then.”

“Maybe you can wait,” Bucky said, getting to his feet and leaning in close to press his hips up against Steve’s thigh, letting Steve feel the hard line of his cock through the boxers, “but I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be able to do that.”

Steve laughed again. It was another bad line—but he’d indulged Bucky for worse. “Fine,” he said. “Maybe I can help.”

 

* * *

 

 

2.

The second time, well, they really should have known better. The lounge was technically a communal area for all the Avengers, and it was stupid of them to think they could have it all to themselves. But, it was early on a Sunday morning, goddamn it. Who the hell was even up besides them?

The answer, apparently, was Clint.

What had started out as an early-morning Netflix binge and a bit of innocent cuddling had turned into a neglected episode of Star Trek and some decidedly not-so-innocent cuddling. Somehow, they’d managed to migrate from the couch to the mini bar, and now Steve was bending over the granite countertop with his jeans bunched around his ankles and three fingers up his ass.

“ _ Shit _ ,” he groaned as Bucky pumped the fingers a couple times before withdrawing his hand and positioning his cock at the same place the fingers had been just a couple moments ago.

“Are you—” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, just— _ damn _ .”

“Okay, I’m—”

“ _ Bucky _ .”

“Jesus Christ,  _ Captain _ , just hold your fucking horses….”

He groaned again at the sound of Bucky popping the cap of the bottle of lube, but he waited patiently enough until he felt Bucky’s hands grip his waist and felt him begin to press inside. 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Bucky breathed when Steve had taken him all the way in. They stayed like that for a moment, shivering and reveling in the closeness, before Steve decided to break the silence.

“C’mon, Buck, you can’t leave me like this,” Steve murmured, pushing his hips back a little bit in a way that made Bucky let out a muffled string of curses, and then Bucky was moving again, in earnest, hand sliding down to clutch Steve’s thigh, his side, his shoulder. He changed the angle of his thrust a little, and  _ fuck _ , Steve wasn’t sure how much longer he could handle this.

When Bucky stopped abruptly, his right hand frozen at Steve’s hips, Steve thought he was just teasing him. “Bucky, that’s not fair,” he complained, trying to rock slightly to get them back in motion, but the hand at his hip just tightened its grip.

“ _ Shhh _ ,” Bucky hissed. 

Steve moaned. “ _ Bucky— _ ”

“ _ Shhh! _ ” Bucky whispered again. “Just, shut up, for a second. Someone just walked in.”

Steve went still, listening. Sure enough, he could hear footsteps coming towards them from the opposite side of the room. “Shit,” he muttered, because this was one hell of a way to come out to your friends. He’d never live this one down.

“Don’t move,” said Bucky softly. “Maybe they won’t….”

The words weren’t even all the way out of his mouth when Clint appeared, walking purposely towards the TV, which was still playing a never-ending stream of Star Trek. Luckily, his back was to them, and he didn’t seem to have spotted them yet. 

Bucky leaned down slightly, apparently trying to make himself less conspicuous, but in doing so he accidently made his cock shift again inside Steve, and there was nothing he could do to stop himself from letting out a loud whimper. They froze, watching Clint intently. 

Clint, the picture of obliviousness, did nothing to indicate that he’d heard a thing. Instead, he picked up the remote, looked at the TV for a couple seconds, and then turned it off, tossing the remote back onto the couch and heading for the door that led to the balcony and elevator. As soon as he was out of sight, Bucky let himself collapse on top of Steve and they both let out the breath they’d been holding.

“Holy shit,” Bucky murmured. “Thank God he wasn’t wearing his hearing aids.”

Steve laughed a little, the movement making him even more aware of how Bucky’s cock was still pressed firmly in his ass. “Yeah, I don’t think ‘It’s not what it looks like’ would have cut it.”

“We should go, before he comes back,” Bucky said.

Steve groaned. “Can’t we at least finish…?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“What?”

“You almost got caught getting fucked in the ass over the communal minibar and you want to keep going?”

“ _ Shit _ ,” Steve sighed. “Alright, alright, let’s go back to our floor.”

They pulled apart, tugging their pants back on. Steve’s cock felt heavy and uncomfortable against the fabric of his jeans.

“C’mon, hurry up,” Bucky griped, and they left the lounge.

In the end, they didn’t make it back to their room. They only got four floors down before Bucky dragged him out of the elevator and into the men’s room.

 

* * *

 

 

3.

“Hey,” Bruce said. “Did you guys accidentally move a few petri dishes after I left when you visited my lab last night?”

“Uh,” Steve said, shooting Bucky a sideways look as he switched the phone to speaker-mode. “I don’t think we moved anything, Bruce. Just the bio-model of the arm you showed us.”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t say that…” said Bruce his voice thin and tinny through the phone.  “That means someone broke into my lab. Damn it… I’m going to have to write up a whole new inventory, file a report, go through the security footage—”

_ Security footage _ .  Shit. He and Bucky exchanged panicked glances. “Sounds like you could use a little help. How about Bucky and I go through the security footage while you take inventory?”

“Well, you’d have to come down here to do that,” Bruce replied. “The only place to view the security footage is in the lab. Tony didn’t like S.H.I.E.L.D. being able to snoop on us all the time, so he cut off outside access.”

“Alright then, we’ll be down in a few minutes,” Steve said, trying to nonchalant. He thought he might be failing miserably at that, judging by the wince Bucky gave him, but Bruce must have been too distracted to notice.

“That’d be really great. Thanks, Steve.”

“No problem,” he said as he pulled on a sweatshirt over his sleeveless pajama shirt. “Just happy to help.”

As soon as they heard the click of Bruce hanging up on the other end, Steve turned to Bucky. “Um,” he said.

“You’re an idiot, Rogers. Why the hell did we do that in his  _ lab _ , of all places—” 

“Hey, it’s not completely my fault.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Well, you weren’t exactly an unwilling participant—”

“Because of you, we are about  _ this close _ ”—Bucky made a gesture with his thumb and forefinger—“to being  _ completely screwed _ .”

Steve didn’t reply to that until they were out the door. “I’m pretty sure we’re already screwed,” he said.

“Hm?”

“Well, at least you were.”

Bucky smacked him on the shoulder as the elevator doors closed, but Steve was grinning too hard to care.

As soon as they got to the lab, Bruce ushered them in, waving them towards a small office near the back where three monitors sat on a desk. “This is where the security footage is stored,” Bruce said. “I haven’t started looking through it yet, but I’d guess we should probably begin looking after about 8:00 P.M., since that’s when you two were here….”

“Yeah, sure. Steve and I can take care of that, no problem,” Bucky said. “I’m sure you’ve got a lot to do. Just leave it to us.”

Bruce gave them a skeptical look as he opened the door to the office. “Are you sure? I can at least get you started, you know, fast-forward it to the time you need—”

“Oh, no, that’s fine. I’m sure we can probably figure it out,” Steve said, a little too quickly. Bucky shot him a look over Bruce’s shoulder that clearly said, “Shut up” and “What the hell are you doing?” and “Just let me talk, you suck at this shit.” 

“I have plenty of experience with security equipment,” Bucky lied. “I doubt we’ll have much trouble.”

Bruce nodded and went over to the keyboard, starting to type. “Alright, then. I’ll just log you into the system…. Tony installed a query system, so you’ll have to search for the date and time. The keyboard commands are pretty standard…. And there, you’re logged in. It’s all yours, Barnes.”

“Thanks,” Bucky said, moving to sit in the chair in front of the three screens. Each monitor showed the lab from a different angle with the current date and time blinking in white letters at the bottom of the livestreams. To their dismay, Bruce stayed at the back of the room, fiddling with a pen. Bucky stared at each of the monitors blankly for a couple moments, motionless, until it became clear to Steve that Bucky had absolutely no idea what to do. When he eventually moved the mouse to click at the date-time display on one of the monitors, Bruce figured it out as well.

“Um,” Bruce said, “you, uh, double tap the space bar to pull up the search….”

“Oh, yeah.” Bucky quickly hit the space bar twice, pulling up a black search bar. He began peck-typing the date from the day before so slowly that even Steve, as bad a typist as he was, began to feel the tension in the room.

“Um,” Bruce interrupted again, “you have to, uh, type the date in numbers, not letters. You know, one for January, two for February….”

“Oops,” said Bucky, hitting the backspace until everything he typed was gone. Then he began painstakingly putting the date back in.

“…And the date, uh, it’s European style. Day first, then month….”

“Oh, okay.” Bucky erased the numbers again.

“You know, I’m sure a lot has changed since you last used security systems. If I got you guys started on the right date and time, it might be….” Bruce trailed off, but Steve could hear the unsaid “faster” all the same.

They were trapped. It was clear that Bucky didn’t have a clue what he was doing, so all he could say was, “Sure, that’d be great,” and lean backwards to let Bruce get to the keyboard. Within a few seconds, the scientist had typed in the date and started the video playing forward on super speed from 12 AM. 

“Once it gets to about 8:00PM, I’ll stop it, and then it’s all yours. You just use the arrow keys and the space bar, like a normal video,” Bruce was saying, but all Steve and Bucky could do was share a glance and sweat as the footage came closer and closer to a very different kind of home video that they weren’t too keen on sharing with Doctor Banner.

Noon, 2 PM, 4 PM…. By 6 PM, Steve could see the fingers of Bucky’s hand twitching. By 7 PM, Steve decided that at least it was Bruce and not Stark. Sure, he probably wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye for a couple months, but at least he wouldn’t tell the whole tower and proceed to immortalize the video with wall-sized print-outs and coasters to match.

At 7:40, Bruce, Bucky, and Steve entered the video screen, moving at hyper speed as they discussed the details of the new prosthetic arm model Bruce and Tony were working on. By 7:55, Bruce left the shot. Steve knew what happened next. Any second now, he was going to walk up to Bucky and stick his hand in his back pocket, and then they were going to make out, and then—

Bruce paused the video at 8:00 exactly, just as the tiny, pixelated Steve on the screen was beginning to walk towards the counter Bucky was standing next to. Both he and Bucky let out the breath they’d been holding as Bruce backed away from the keyboard and gestured for Bucky to take over. “That should do it. Let me know if you need any help.” Then he finally, blessedly, left the room.

They remained more or less still for several moments. Then, as soon as Bruce was out of earshot—

“Delete the footage.”

“What do you think I’m trying to do here?” Bucky hissed back.

“Well, you need to do it fast.”

“I know.”

“Just… hurry.”

“I  _ know _ .”

“Then why aren’t you—”

“I said I’m trying,  _ Captain _ .”

Steve turned away, staring pointedly at the wall next to them. “Don’t… say that.”

“Say what?”

“…Captain.”

“Jesus,” Bucky sighed, rolling his eyes. “Kinky bastard….”

“I can’t help it, Buck—”

“Yeah, well, your lack of self-control is what got us into this whole mess in the first place.”

Steve really couldn’t argue with that.

“And I don’t think the system lets you delete footage,” Bucky continued quietly. “And even if it did, I don’t think I could figure it out in time before Bruce gets back.”

“Okay…” Steve whispered, taking it in with growing unease. “We’ll just have to fast-forward through it then.”

“Shit,” swore Bucky, but he complied all the same, pressing the space bar and allowing the video to leap forward. There they were, kissing near the counter. There they were, kissing against the counter. Within seconds, video-Steve had video-Bucky lying on his back across the countertop, his jeans bunched around his ankles and three of Steve’s fingers working his ass open. “Shit,” Bucky said again, even more quietly, and now it was Bucky’s turn to stare at the wall.

Footsteps from the lab outside made Steve shoot a furtive glance out the half-open door of the office. Bruce was there, pacing around the lab equipment with a clipboard and notepad, only a few feet away from the counter featured in the video. On all three monitors in the office, the Bucky and Steve were fucking in earnest now. Steve was suddenly very grateful the security cameras didn’t record sound. 

“I think we’re almost done,” Bucky said when the white text on the video read 8:35 PM. “We weren’t here much longer….”

Sure enough, the figures on the screen stopped moving, apparently catching their breath, before pulling on their clothes and disappearing off the screen. They didn’t finish a moment too soon. Just as the security footage reached 9:00 PM, Bruce poked his head back into the office.

“Oh, uh, I forgot to mention,” Bruce said. “The petri dishes? The ones that are missing? They were in the second fridge…. It’s on the right. You should have a pretty clear view if you watch the third screen.”

After the initial scare, the rest of the time they spent reviewing the security footage was uneventful until they got to 2:43 AM, when a dark-haired man with distinctive facial hair came in and grabbed a couple petri dishes from the fridge.

“Banner?” Bucky called. “Stark’s got the dishes. You might want to give him a call.”

“Fantastic…” Bruce sighed. He set down his clipboard and pulled out his phone.

He and Bucky left shortly after that, shoulder to shoulder. When they’d said goodbye and when the doors had closed behind them, Bucky turned to Steve with a grin.

“So,” Bucky said, “no more impromptu sex in public places?”

Steve thought for a moment. “I’d like to say yes, but I don’t think I can promise that.”

“Psh. Horny punk.”

“And what does that make you, then?”

“Your sorry-ass’s horny boyfriend.”

Steve laughed. “We’re going to get caught one of these days.”

“Probably,” Bucky conceded. 

Steve sighed.

 

* * *

4.

The fourth time, they were practically asking for it. Fury called them into his office along with Natasha, Sam, and Maria and said, “I want you to run a mission together.”

“Sweet, it’s the 2014-team back together,” Sam said, then shot Bucky a sideways look, “plus Red Scare.”

Bucky let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m not even Russian, bird-man—”

“Wow, bird-man, that’s original—”

“—and I was there in 2014. Technically.”

“You tore off my wing and threw me off a helicarrier,” Sam said. “I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count as being on the 2014-team.”

“You’re still not over that?”

“What, over you  _ destroying my EXO-7 and trying to kill me? _ ” Sam said. “Sorry, no. I get to give you shit for at least another three years.”

“If you five-year-olds are done,” Fury interrupted, “I’d like to get on with the briefing now.”

Bucky and Sam shut up.

“Now,” said Fury, “there’s a Hydra hideout up in Canada I want you to take care of. They don’t have a lot of defenses, so I think they’re more of an information center or something, but apparently they still have enough troops to terrorize most of northern British Columbia. So that’s where y’all are headed. I’ll send you the building blueprints and all that shit once you’re in the air.”

“Thanks for putting me on this mission, sir,” Maria said. “It’ll be nice to be back in the home country.”

“You’re Canadian?” Natasha asked.

“Yes. And you’re Russian.”

“And I’m  _ not _ Russian,” Bucky mumbled. He sounded more than a little petulant. 

“Hey, Buck, to be fair,” Steve said, trying not to grin, “the Red Scare actually happened in America, not Russia. So.”

“Et tu, Steve?” said Bucky as Sam reached around to give Steve a high-five.

“I swear, y’all are infants.” Fury said. “Get out of my office and get your asses to a quinjet, or I swear to God I’ll put you on a mission in Antarctica instead. And I could, you know. We actually have things to do there.”

“Aye aye, Director,” said Sam with a solute. The rest of them stared at him.

“Wilson?” Fury said.

“Yes, sir?”

“Get the hell out of my office. And take all these stupid-ass white people with you.”

“A’ight,” Sam said. They left quickly.

When they finally touched down in Canada, it seemed like the Hydra base had gone into hibernation mode. Most of the troops appeared to be holed up inside.

“Let’s go over the plan one more time,” Steve said after Natasha landed the quinjet. “Maria will be directing us from outside using the comms and the security feeds. Sam will be running recon from above and serving as a distraction to pull the troops outside. Natasha will go in at the east side and try to infiltrate their computer systems to see if they have any information we can use to take down other bases in the future. Bucky and I will break in along the service corridor at south side, and we’ll disable the generator and the backup generator and blow the whole place up using Nat’s timer bomb. Then we’ll all get the hell out and hope for the best. Sound good?”

“Yes, sir,” they all said, though with varying degrees of sarcasm. Sam and Bucky were the worst offenders. 

“Okay. Let’s go.”

“Good luck, Captain,” Maria said as they left the jet. Sam and Natasha had already taken their positions elsewhere.

“How come you don’t get all weird when other people call you ‘Captain’?” Bucky asked, delaying turning his comms on. Steve groaned, because Bucky had not been able to leave him alone about this since it came up in Bruce’s lab the other day.

“I don’t know,” Steve sighed. He was glad he hadn’t put his earpiece in yet. “Probably because I’m not having sex with other people?”

Bucky leered. “So I’m special, then.” 

“I guess you are.”

“Great,” he said as he finally switched on his earpiece. “I’m good to go,  _ Captain _ .”

Steve flushed even though he knew it was coming and glared at Bucky. He put in his own earpiece and turned it on.

The service corridor had been a good choice. It was almost completely empty when they disabled the alarms on one of the emergency exits and slipped inside. 

“There’s one guard behind you a ways,” Maria said, but you should be able to avoid him so otherwise you and Barnes are home-free,” Maria said in his ear.

“Too bad,” said Bucky, flexing the fingers of the new prosthetic metal arm that Bruce and Tony had finally finished for him. “I wanted to get a chance to try this thing out in action.

Maria ignored him. “Wilson, what’s your status?”

“Peachy,” Sam grunted. Now that he was speaking, the comm system stopped filtering out the background noises from his end, and they could hear what sounded like explosions and gunfire. Steve grimaced in sympathy. “They’re definitely— _ shit _ that was close—they’re definitely taking the bait, I’ll tell you that. I’m doing a really great job at being distracting. I’d rather not be doing that for too much longer, though, so if y’all could hurry up—”

“Noted,” Maria said. “Natasha?”

“I’m in the server room,” Natasha said smoothly. Wherever she was was positively silent compared to all the noise they’d just gotten from Sam. “I have a flash drive plugged into one of their computers.”

“Already?” Bucky said. “Steve and I only just got in and you’re already getting files?”

“I’m not an amateur.”

Sam’s voice came back in. “Damn Natasha, I’m usually the one making fun of Barnes. That was stone cold.”

“You’re not the only one he has history with,” Natasha said, and Steve could practically hear the smirk in her voice. “He shot me in the abdomen and the shoulder, remember?”

“That was  _ more than two years ago _ —”

“Barnes, Rogers, there are three men ahead of you. Keep your guard up,” Maria said. “Also, Fury is right—you guys are worse than children.”

“Hey, I’m just a victim, here,” Bucky said defensively. He was about to say something else, but then they turned a corner and found the guards Maria had warned them about. “Shit.”

They had guns, all of them, and Steve instinctively reached for the place his shield usually hung at his back before he remembered that he didn’t have the shield anymore. That he’d dropped it next to Stark after they fought in Siberia and hadn’t taken it back even after they made up and moved back into the Avenger Tower. It just didn’t seem right to pick it up again, somehow, after everything that had happened. 

So instead he decided to do what he usually did in these situations: he when in fists first.

Before any of the guards had a chance to react, Steve charged forward. He managed to knock the gun out of the hand of the nearest guard and knock her off her feet in the same blow before turning to the next one, who still had his gun and was a little more reluctant to let it go than the first guard. Steve grabbed the guy’s arm and tried to force the weapon from his hand, but he didn’t have a good grip, and the guard that he’d knocked to the floor was getting to her feet—

A metal arm punched the guard in the face. “Steve, you’re a goddamn fucking idiot,” Bucky said. Then he knocked out the other guard with an elbow to her temple. “You have a fucking gun, but no, you had to just charge in headfirst like you’re fucking bulletproof….”

Steve looked over to where the third guard had been only to see that said guard was currently on the floor, unconscious.

“Well, you didn’t use your gun, either,” Steve said.

“Yeah, only because you were already in there and I didn’t want to shoot you by mistake, you fucking eight ball.”

“...I’m not good with guns, alright?

“Yeah, I know,” Bucky said, shaking his head in an exasperated sort of way. “Let’s get moving before we get any more attention.”

“Roger that,” Steve said, and Bucky gave him a look.

“Yeah,  _ Captain _ , Roger that,” he said, and Steve would admit that his joke was pretty dumb, but that was sort of a low blow. Literally.

They followed Maria’s instructions down the hallway and over to the generator room without running into any more guards. Apparently, Sam was doing a hell of a good job keeping everyone busy. Bucky picked the lock to the door, because evidently Hydra didn’t think their generators were important enough to keep behind something more secure than a standard lock, and they slipped inside. 

Aside from the whirring of the generators, the room was quiet. It was mostly dark too, a single dim fluorescent bulb dangling from the ceiling and bathing the center of the room in a flickering light. They felt around until they found a switch on a nearby wall, but all that did was turn on a couple more fluorescents in other parts of the room. They were going to have to make do.

“Can we sabotage the generators yet?” Bucky asked.

“No,” Natasha said. “You have to wait until I’ve finished sifting through the files. Once you take out the power the servers will crash, and I won’t be able to take any more of their secret shit.”

“Well, could you hurry, Natasha?” Sam said. The explosions coming from his comm seemed to be getting worse, if that was possible. “I’d really appreciate it if these Hydra goons lost power to their machine guns soon.”

“I’m going as fast as I can,” Natasha griped. “Be patient.”

“So we’re waiting on Natasha?” Steve asked.

“Affirmative,” Maria’s voice confirmed. “And Steve? Please learn to use a gun. Accelerated healing or not, a bullet is still going to hurt like hell.”

“Thank you, Hill,” Bucky said. “See, Steve? I’m not the only one who’s fed up with this. Time to hit the range,  _ Captain _ .”

“Why does Barnes keep calling Steve ‘Captain’ like that? Is this a new inside joke I’m not aware of?” Sam asked over the comm, but Steve wasn’t listening. He walked forward towards Bucky, backed him into the wall, and cupped his hand over Bucky’s crotch.

“Don’t say stuff like that unless you’re willing to deal with the consequences, Buck,” Steve said, doing his best to keep his voice even. He was rewarded by a sharp, silent intake of breath and the slow dilation of Bucky’s pupils.

“If the consequences mean you’ll put a gun in your hand, then I think I’m definitely willing,” Bucky said.  _ God _ was he shameless. It wasn’t entirely Steve’s fault that they kept getting into situations like this.

Or, well. Maybe it was, because it was Steve who took the extra step this time, Steve who muted his end of the comm and slowly, deliberately dropped to his knees.

“You have no idea what you’ve been doing to me, Buck,” Steve murmured up at him, careful to keep his voice out of the range of Bucky’s still-active comm. Bucky reached up to his ear as if to turn it off, but then he and Steve shared a look, and slowly, he let his arm fall back to his side.

This was so fucking stupid. 

Carefully, Steve started to pull down the zipper of Bucky’s black combat pants. When he glanced up again, Bucky was staring at him, his expression cautiously neutral. He was still staring at him as Steve reached forward to undo the button and free Bucky’s cock from the fabric of his pants.

“How’s it going, Natasha?” Bucky asked, his eyes never leaving Steve’s. How the hell did he keep his voice so even? “Is there anything we can do to help?”

“Just silence, thank you,” Natasha said. 

“Okay, fine, fine,” Bucky said, honest-to-God  _ smirking _ at Steve. “You got it, Nat.”

Steve took this as the challenge it was. There was no way Bucky was going to be able to talk like this by the time Steve was done with him.

He leaned forward and licked the tip of his tongue over the head of Bucky’s cock, slow, teasing. Bucky reached forward with his left hand and tangled it in Steve’s hair, tugging slightly. “Hill, how is the hallway looking?” Bucky asked as Steve swept his tongue over the underside of Bucky’s dick, making him blink twice in rapid succession and bite his lip. Steve took this as a sign of success and did it again.

“It’s still clear from what I can see. You’re going to want to stay alert though—I doubt those guards you took out earlier will go unnoticed for long.”

“Probably—but Wilson’s been doing a pretty good job of distracting, so maybe we’ll get lucky,” Bucky said just as Steve took the head of his cock into his mouth. He shut his eyes tightly but continued to talk, his voice as steady as ever. “If this hallway is empty, there probably aren’t a ton of guards wandering around.”

“Maybe…” Maria replied, but she sounded unconvinced. 

Steve got to work, licking and sucking in the way he knew Bucky liked. Gradually, Bucky’s fist began to tighten in Steve’s hair, his teeth worrying his bottom lip and his breath becoming more labored. His cock was standing to attention now, fully erect under Steve’s ministrations. Steve’s own pants were starting to feel too tight. The heady scent of sex and the obscene sounds of his own mouth filled the room with an almost intoxicating aura, one that Bucky seemed to be equally affected by. When Steve did something particularly good with his tongue, Bucky let out a dangerously indecent sigh that had him bringing his right hand up to his mouth to keep in the noise.  _ Fuck. _

“You okay over there, Barnes?”  Sam asked. “Not getting too bored, are you? Because if you are I could use some help up here.”

“No, it’s all good down here,” Bucky said. Steve was pleased to note the small tremor in Bucky’s voice at the end, the slight breathy quality his words had attained. “We’re keeping ourselves entertained.”

_ Shit _ , they were going to get themselves caught if they kept being this obvious, but damn if it didn’t send a rush of heat to Steve’s groin and make him suck even harder. Bucky had to bite down on his hand to keep himself from groaning. 

A few minutes later, Bucky looked suitably wrecked. There was a sort of dazed quality to his expression, a sheen of sweat on his brown and a flush on his cheeks that Steve could see even in the dim fluorescent lighting. Steve was sure they didn’t have much longer. Bucky’s dark eyes shone bright, the thin circle of blue around his blown pupils nearly having disappeared. His prosthetic hand was curled so tightly in Steve’s hair that it almost hurt. 

“Okay, boys, I’m almost finished,” Natasha said suddenly over the comms. “Get off your asses.”

Bucky did groan then, just slightly. He licked his lips, gazing at Steve as he said, “Good. We’re ready.”

They weren’t ready at all, not in the way Natasha was expecting, but Steve got Bucky’s meaning anyway. He doubled his efforts, taking Bucky’s cock into his mouth a little farther than he would have normally just to watch Bucky’s eyes roll back in his head. Bucky was close. He could taste the bitter precome on his tongue, feel the heat pulsing in Bucky’s cock. He trailed his fingernails along the underside of the exposed part of Bucky’s cock, and that was it. With a shudder, Bucky came in Steve’s mouth.

“Okay, the files are off of their system. Feel free to blow it all up now,” Natasha said over the comm. 

Steve pulled away from Bucky’s cock, wiped his mouth, and reached up to his ear to unmute his comm. “Sounds good, Nat,” he said. “Consider it done.”

Steve was still straining against the zipper of his pants, but it wasn’t like they had time for that at the moment. He adjusted himself in his pants while Bucky watched, tucking himself away. They got to work on the bomb. If Steve had to help blow up a Hydra base while sporting the world’s most uncomfortable hard-on, then, well, it was worth it.

 

* * *

5.

A Wakandan banquet was not an easy place to surreptitiously give someone a handjob, but Steve had never been known for taking the easy route. 

It was just… Steve was a little bored, if he was honest. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand the importance of international diplomatic banquets, he just didn’t quite get why he, Bucky, and Sam were supposed to be there. They were soldiers, not politicians or foreign relations specialists. In fact, the Avengers publicists usually tried to keep them as far away from important people as they could, since Steve had a habit of getting into loud and potentially physical fights with people he disagreed with. The last time he’d been set loose at a banquet without “supervision”, he’d almost gotten into a fist fight with the United States’ Speaker of the House.

Mostly, it seemed like they were there to shake hands and act as “ambassadors of goodwill”. He guessed that was a good thing. A lot of awful things had happened to the people of Wakanda, and although neither he, Bucky, or Sam had been responsible for them, it was probably a good idea to repair relations all the same. Besides, T’Challa was there, so it wasn’t all bad. 

Except.... well, it was all bad. Because for some reason both he and Bucky were stupidly horny  _ the whole night _ . 

Maybe it had something to do with suits. Both he and Bucky were wearing them, and they were tailored by some fancy designer that Steve couldn’t remember the name of—Armando? Amani? Whatever it was, they looked good in them. Especially Bucky. The fabric of the suit jacket stretched over his broad shoulders just enough to emphasize their breadth without being too small. And the suit, in combination with the five o’clock shadow…. It was devastating, really. Enough to make a stronger man than Steve feel a little too tight in his dress pant. 

Then again, maybe it wasn’t the suits—maybe it was withdrawl. It had been a too long since Steve and Bucky had gotten to be alone together. Bucky had spent the last week or so on a solo mission with Natasha, dismantling the remainder of Hydra and its derivatives in Eastern Europe. They’d only just finished yesterday, and today was the first time they’d seen each other since Bucky left for the mission. It had been hell to sit through diplomatic talks and polite meetings when all he wanted to do was push Bucky against a wall and kiss him senseless.

By this time of night, both he and Bucky were getting to the end of their rope. It was the late evening. How much longer were they really expected to keep this up?

He, Bucky, Sam, T’Challa, and a few other notable people were at a banquet table, waiting for the fourth course—or maybe it was the fifth course?—to be brought to their table. However many courses it was, it was too many. Steve had a metabolism faster than almost any other human alive, but there was a point when even he had had enough. From the vaguely broody expression on Bucky’s face across the table, Steve guessed that Bucky was just about as done as he was.

“I hope the Avengers may help sponsor more student exchange programs,” T’Challa said. “The young people of my nation have sent in thousands of applications for the one we began promoting last month. I think it would be to all our benefits to try expanding the program.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” Sam said. “Kids need to get out and see the world. It’s good for them.”

Steve agreed—student exchange programs were generally a good idea—but right now Bucky was tapping his fork against his bottom lip in a way that was entirely too distracting. He shifted in his seat.

“We could try dividing the program into a high school version and a college version to target a wider age group,” Sam was suggesting to T’Challa.

“Is high school in the United States equivalent to secondary school in Wakanda?”

“Yeah, yeah I think it is.”

Steve caught Bucky’s eye and very intentionally stuck out his leg underneath the table, brushing his foot against Bucky’s ankle. Bucky frowned and raised an eyebrow as if to say, “Really, Steve?” but when Steve let his foot roam upwards a little, just past the hem of Bucky’s pants and towards his calf, the skeptical expression was gone. Steve noticed Bucky take in a small breath and shift slightly in his seat before scooting closer to the table, allowing Steve better access.

“Funding won’t be a problem. I am prepared to provide a large donation from my personal funds to support an expanded program.”

“That would be awesome, actually. Not that we need a ton of financial support—Tony’s loaded.”

Steve brought his foot even higher up Bucky’s leg until it was rubbing against Bucky’s thigh, and then finally, his crotch. There was color in Bucky’s cheeks now. The flush spread from his face and down his neck, disappearing under the collar of his suit. It was exceedingly reckless to do this here; not only were they sitting directly next to two of their friends, but they were also at risk of offending several very important international figures. Steve’s dick didn’t really care, though, and judging by the dark, sultry look he was getting from across the table, neither did Bucky’s.

Bucky took a long drink from his champagne flute and then got to his feet. “I’m going to go find a bathroom,” he said evenly. “Maybe take a look around the estate.”

“I could stretch my legs,” Steve said, standing. “Do you mind the company?”

“No, not at all,” Bucky said. 

“Well okay, then. Be back soon,” Sam said, raising his eyebrows in an unpressed sort of way. Clearly he did not appreciate being left alone with a bunch of wealthy dignitaries. Steve did feel a little bit bad about that, but mostly he felt horny, so he tried not to waste time feeling guilty and just hoped Sam wouldn’t be too mad at them for being rude.

“We’ll try,” Bucky said. Steve swallowed. They left the banquet hall. 

“...Are we going to try?” Steve asked when they were out of earshot of most of the crowds.

“I mean,” Bucky said, steering them towards the restrooms. “I feel like we should at least make an effort to be fast.”

“That probably won’t be too difficult,” Steve muttered, and Bucky’s hand snaked back to grip Steve’s wrist and pull him through the bathroom door.

They were so, so lucky no one was in there, because they didn’t even stop to look around before Bucky was pressing Steve back against the door and kissing him,  _ hard _ . His metal hand slid under the fabric of Steve’s dress shirt, wrinkling the fabric, and his flesh hand came around to cup the back of Steve’s head.  _ God _ , he’d missed this. Steve’s hips jutted forward on their own accord, trying to get more friction. Bucky obliged, pressing himself flush against Steve and moving his lips from Steve’s mouth to start attacking his neck.

“Hey, Buck, wait,” Steve said. Bucky paused. “If you leave a mark, they’ll see.”

Bucky frowned up at him through his lashes. “You have advanced healing abilities. It’ll be gone in fifteen minutes.”

“But I thought we were going to be fast, here.”

Bucky’s frown deepened. “Fine. You want fast?” he said, reaching his metal hand down to unbutton Steve’s pants and pull down the zipper. “I’ll make it fast.”

The feeling of Bucky’s cool fingers wrapping around his already half-hard dick made Steve gasp.  _ “Shit _ ,” he whispered. It took him a couple moments to regain enough self-awareness to realize that he should probably reciprocate. “Fuck, sorry.”

He unzipped Bucky’s pants and pulled out his cock. The groan that Bucky let out was both flattering and  _ way too loud _ . He slowed his hand.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asked.

“I don’t know, I just, we have to be  _ quiet _ —”

“What,  _ now _ you care about being discreet?”

“I guess not, but—”

Bucky stopped him suddenly, the hand resting on the back of Steve’s head coming around to cover his mouth. Then Bucky cocked his head to the side. “Someone’s coming,” he said.

“What?” Steve asked, but then he heard it too—footsteps. Someone was walking towards the bathroom. “Shit.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agreed, and they stumbled towards the nearest stall. Steve tucked himself back in his jeans—it wasn’t like he was going to be able to stay hard after this. They only just managed to lock the stall door behind them before the sound of the bathroom door swinging open made them both jump. Someone walked across the tiled floor and stopped in front of the urinals.

Bucky carefully stepped up onto the toilet seat. Smart—it would be weird if the person were to turn around and see two pairs of feet in the stall. The only problem was that Bucky was  _ tall _ , and standing upright on top of the toilet made his head poke up over the top of the stall door. He had to stay hunched over in order to keep out of sight. He looked ridiculous enough that Steve might have laughed, if the circumstances had been a little different. 

Steve tapped Bucky’s arm, then tilted his head towards the door and mouthed, “ _ Who is it? _ ”

Bucky peered through the crack between the stall door and the divider and shook his head. He made a gesture to indicate someone on the shorter side, maybe 5’8” or 5’9”.  _ “I dunno—short white guy?” _

Steve tried to look, but all he could see was the back of the man’s suit. He mimed a salute. “ _ Military?” _

Bucky narrowed his eyes and shrugged as if to say, “ _ How the fuck would I know?” _

Steve made guns with this fingers. Bucky rolled his eyes. 

They waited for a couple more minutes, Bucky becoming increasingly more uncomfortable and Steve getting more and more on edge. Whoever it was had definitely finished pissing, but they were still standing in front of the urinal. Steve glanced at Bucky, who imitated typing something on a phone. Sure enough, he head the Candy Crush theme music start to play. 

_ Goddamn it _ , Steve thought. How long was this was going to go on?

Apparently, the answer was “not much longer” because Bucky’s foot wobbled from its precarious position on the toilet seat and slipped into the toilet bowl. “ _ Shit!”  _ Bucky muttered before he could stop himself. They both froze.

“Is everything alright in there?” asked the person outside their stall. Steve peered through the door to look at the Candy Crusher and—

_ Coulson? _

Steve blinked and—yeah, the person outside their stall was  _ definitely him _ . Could it be a photostatic veil? A shape-shifter? Had someone been messing with his head? He must have looked like he was about to say something stupid, because Bucky grabbed his shoulder and shot him a warning look.

“Uh,” Bucky said out loud. His voice was pitched higher than normal and Steve had to stop himself from laughing. “It’s all fine. Everything is fine.”

“...Okay,” Coulson said. “Good luck?” 

He left the bathroom. 

As soon as the door closed behind him, Bucky lifted his foot out of the toilet with a wince and put his dick back in his pants. “Holy shit,” he said, “I’m so glad I don’t know that guy….”

“I do,” Steve said. 

“Of course you fucking do…” Buck sighed. “God fucking dammit, Steve. I hate you so fucking much.”

“His name is Phil Coulson. He was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent,” Steve said, “but I thought he died?”

“People thought you died, and you didn’t,” Bucky said. “People thought  _ I  _ died, and I didn’t. When the hell has anyone we’ve known actually died and stayed dead?”

“Well, Pietro—”

“Oh, yeah, I guess he did die,” Bucky said. “Shouldn’t he have been able to outrun those bullets? The kid had super speed, for Christ’s sake.”

“I know, right?” Steve said, shaking his head. “Didn’t make any sense.”

They decided to leave the bathroom separately, just in case. Bucky’s shoe was wet the whole night long.

 

* * *

 

 

+1

Steve would admit that most of the time that shit like this happened to them, they deserved it. They were not careful. They were actually pretty reckless. Some people might even call them exibitionists. But this time? They had taken precautions. They were in their own floor in Avengers Tower. They were in their bedroom, even, like _normal_ _people_ , and they’d asked Jarvis to turn off _all_ notifications to their room and flag them as “Do Not Disturb”. 

“I knew Tony put this fancy security system in here for a reason,” Bucky joked. “Had to be here to do more than just catch Clint sneaking into the air ducts.”

“Or stop Natasha from shooting the toaster again,” Steve added.

“Hey, it burnt her toast,” Bucky said with a shrug. “There was a problem, and she dealt with it. I can respect that.”

Steve laughed. “Okay, okay, fine. Can we stop talking about Clint and Natasha now?”

“Hey, you were the one who brought up Natasha,” Bucky grinned, but he stepped forward to kiss Steve all the same. 

Steve didn’t think he would ever get tired of this, Bucky’s lips against his own, Bucky being here, with him. Bucky had been dead for so long. He’d been gone. Steve had spent two whole years thinking that Bucky was dead, and another two thinking he’d never be able to get him back. But now he was back. Steve could touch him. And he didn’t want to stop.

After a few minutes making out against the wall, Bucky backed them up against the bed instead, letting them switch to a more horizontal position. This was good, Steve thought. He liked horizontal. It meant that he got to feel Bucky’s weight over his hips, his arms pinning Steve’s own over his head as he attacked his mouth thoroughly. There was nowhere else Steve would rather be, really. The sun was just starting to set and the yellows and oranges coming through the window were making Bucky look really kissable.

“Hey,” Bucky murmured into his lips. “What’s with that sappy look?”

“Nothing,” Steve sighed. “Just really want to kiss you, s’all.” 

Bucky smiled, his stubble rubbing against Steve’s chin. “Well then, by all means, do continue.”

They’d gotten pretty far, Bucky having lost his shirt and Steve’s own having been hiked up to his armpits, when they started to notice noises. It sounded like footsteps and shouts. 

“Should we….” Steve asked.

“No.”

“But—”

“C’mon, Steve. They can survive without us for fifteen minutes.”

He had a point, Steve figured. The rest of the Avengers were adults who were (mostly) capable and responsible people. Whatever was going on could wait.

They went back to kissing. Bucky got close enough for Steve to start sucking a spot into his neck, the skin blooming dark red just below Bucky’s jaw line. Bucky ground down against Steve’s hips in response, more insistently this time. The friction was maddening. 

“Goddammit, Steve,” Bucky muttered. “Why the hell are we still wearing pants?”

Steve would have shrugged, but Bucky still had his arms pinned. “I dunno, Buck. Maybe you should do something about that?”

“Maybe I will,” Bucky said. He released Steve’s wrists and used his fingers to undo the button on the front of Steve’s jeans instead. 

Steve did his best to focus on the sensation of Bucky’s hand pulling down his zipper palming him against the fabric of his underwear, but the sounds from elsewhere in the tower were getting distractingly loud. He was pretty sure he could hear some kind of distant alarm blaring.  _ Not our problem _ , he reminded himself.  _ They can deal with it this time _ .

And it did get a little easier to block it all out when Bucky leaned back a little bit and started to shuck off his own pants and underwear. He doubted anyone could watch Bucky do this and not pay attention.

Bucky was about to start helping Steve get his pants off the rest of the way when there was a loud knock at the door—or, well, a loud  _ hammering _ would have been a better word.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Bucky swore. They didn’t have time. Before they could even try to spring into action, the door to their bedroom was slamming open and Tony Stark was walking in wearing full armor except for his helmet. 

“There’s a fire in the lab and we’re evacuating the building, why the fuck are you guys still—oh,” Tony said. He stared.

Steve wasn’t sure he’d ever had a silence more awkward than this one. 

This was, objectively, a disaster. He tried to picture how this might look—Bucky, not wearing even a scrap of clothing, straddling Steve’s lap while Steve himself was lying on the bed with a bare chest and a really obvious hard-on. They were never going to live this down.

“Hey, Tony, did you find them?” Clint’s voice carried into the room, finally springing Steve and Bucky into action. Bucky dove to the floor, trying to pull his discarded underwear from his jeans, but instead he ended up falling to the floor. Clint’s head appeared in the doorframe. “Oh. Oh man,” he said. Then he looked at Bucky on the floor and laughed. “Hah. Buck naked.”

“I will fucking end you, Barton,” Bucky said as he struggled back into his underwear and pants. “I swear I will. I know where you fucking sleep.”

“What’s going on?” Sam’s voice asked.

“Steve and Bucky were fucking,” Clint answered.

“What?!” Now Sam was in their doorway. “What the— Oh my God. Natasha, get in here.” And then Natasha was in the room. Steve managed to zip his pants and was working on the buttons. 

“What happened to the girl from security?” Tony asked Bucky. “Janice, I think?”

“Janet,” Steve corrected.

“Uh,” Bucky said, “I was never with Janet. Steve just said that to make you go away.”

“Hold on, how long has this—” Sam made a gesture between Steve and Bucky. “—been going on?” 

Steve and Bucky shared a look. There was some mental math.

“Since…” Steve said, “1935?”

“1934,” Bucky corrected. “I was 17, you were 16. I think it was summer?”

“Fall.”

“Oh yeah, fall.”

“So, a long fucking time is the answer,” Natasha said dryly. 

“...Yes,” Bucky said. “I mean, if you wanna be blunt.”

There was another brief awkward silence.

“Isn’t there a fire we’re supposed to be dealing with?” Steve asked.

“Shit,” Sam said, and disappeared from the doorway, presumably to find a place he could fly out of the tower on his wings. 

“Oh yeah, ditto,” Tony said. He walked towards Steve and Bucky’s window, threw it open, and soared out.

“Okay,” Bucky said. “Thanks for the help, guys.”

“To the stairs?” Clint asked.

“I guess,” said Steve.

He, Bucky, Clint and Natasha left the room and headed for the emergency stairwell. As they trudged down flight after flight, Steve reached forward to grab Bucky’s hand. Bucky turned back and smiled a little, curling his fingers around Steve’s and squeezing. If they were going to get teased into next week about this, then Steve was going to make the most of being out to his friends. 

For once, Steve thought things would be fine. No one had said a word since they started on the stairs. Maybe they would live this down after all, he thought.

That was, until Clint said, “Hey, Bucky. Do you feel like it’s your job to protect Steve?”

“Uh,” Bucky said. “I mean, I guess?”

“So then, would you say you’re married to your work?”

“...Fuck you, Barton.”

“Oh, come on, Clint,” Natasha said, but she was smirking. “Of course he’s going to protect Steve’s ass. It’s private property, after all.”

Clint hooted obnoxiously. “Tell me, Steve, what’s it like having an internationally renowned assassin keeping you warm at night?”

Steve groaned. This was only the beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this story, feel free to check out the other marvel fics that I've published under my main pseudo! [Here's my main account!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pugglemuggle/works)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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